My Leave...

So, it's been over 2 months since I had my surgery... all in all, I feel good. It's been a restful time for me... I didn't miss work at all, not that I thought I would for a minute. I got to spend a lot of time with my mom and my niece, which was really awesome... I was worried that I would regret not "going away" (Asia, Australia, New Zealand?) The fact that I've never had 2 (continuous) months off from work, ever, weighed on me... I was nervous that I wouldn't know what to do with my time. Instead, it flew by so quickly, that I am having trouble reconciling the fact that I need to be back at my desk in less than a week's time.

I contemplated writing... a book, a short story, but hell, I had trouble with this blog entry! I wanted to "do" stuff... learn a language, a skill, a hobby... nope, none of those things were accomplished. What I did accomplish in this time though is a sense of peace. I feel at peace with myself. I no longer feel I "need" to do anything. I am happy just watching TV, reading a book again for the third time, watching my niece learn to walk and then crawl. It has been a time of discovery for me... that I don't need to be anywhere, and yet find myself content to be here, in my apartment, with nothing more than a cup of tea and a good book or a good TV show (or a bad one for that matter.)

Thank you guys, for all your support during the times I was in and out of the hospital. The uncertain times when I just didn't know what was wrong... and just holding my hair back when all I could do was hurl... for listening to the rants about work and Moody... and for understanding that it takes a village just to be a single female in NYC... I love you guys and really wouldn't know where I'd be without you...

So, as I prepare myself for "back to work", I do go with a heaviness, but not of heart. I am glad to have had the time to wander the city and visit a museum during the work week, lunch with my friends and drive whenever I wanted and mostly just to wake up at 11 and not feel guilty for having wasted a day.